Then there are the media personalities who make their nut as poseurs lecturing others on how to be “real men.” Arguably the worst of these is Andrew Tate, whose arrest in Romania on charges of rape and human trafficking made international news. Now, an arrest is not a conviction and, regardless of the laws in Romania (about which I am completely ignorant), by our own standards of law he merits the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. That being said, the rank ugliness; the vile, infantile hatefulness of the ghastly twaddle that he regularly spews on social media, is quite enough by itself to make anyone (male or female) prefer the company of that bear to this vicious, self-absorbed animal.

Much closer to home, and much milder of an example (which suggests that the spiral is closer to its target) there is Nick Adams, who was recently profiled in the Washington Post (“WaPo”). Adams brands himself as “alpha male” on the media site I call Xwitter, which is funny as hell (Adams’ branding, not my nickname for whatever it is that Elon Musk is doing.) Because it really ought to go without saying that anyone so sad, so lame, so utterly devoid of any scintilla of genuine substance, to label themselves “alpha male” is obviously nothing of the kind. (And, indeed, for anyone gifted with even an ordinary amount of intelligence, the obviousness is quite manifest.)

Now, Adams stands out from someone like Tate in that he does NOT have any Interpol warrants issued against him, and most of us will probably agree that that is a good thing. But Adams shares with Tate the belief that being a “real man” involves behaviors that are basically those of a spoiled, petulant 3 yo. (The WaPo reporter who interviewed Adams claims he, Adams, texted someone about how he, the reporter, had ordered the salmon rather than the steak; presumably uncooked and carved directly from the living cow.) Adams evidently advises his rapt audience of desperate gulls to avoid “high maintenance” women. For myself, it is impossible to escape the impression that “high maintenance” in this crowd means a woman who is intelligent, competent, and self-aware. This same credulous audience is advised that “‘nasty women’ are coming for two things: your mind and your testicles!” As if they had any of either. (“Nasty women” is, of course, the phrase Trump uses for any woman who is not immediately cowed by his mere existence.)

I can briefly mention Jordan Peterson as another clown in this car. Peterson has made his nut stroking the egos of sad, sniveling INCELs who believe the universe owes them respect and sexual gratification (mostly the latter) because they were born with wrinklies at their groin.

What all of these buffoons share, in their pandering to the credulous gulls that comprise their audience, is the message that “manhood” is something so special, so significant, so stand-above-the-crowd important, that it is entirely and uniquely its “own thing,” what philosophers will sometimes call sui generis. In other words, this “manhood” thing is supposed to stand alone, by itself, out of all relation to the rest of the world.

All of which is, of course, the most infantile bullshit imaginable.

Let us consider a (partial) list of virtues that go into “being a man,” in no order: honesty, integrity, courage, decency, strength, discipline, commitment. (Wow! Everything that Donald Trump singularly lacks, even as his cultists proclaim that he is the very model of the modern major manliness.ⁱⁱ) Yet not a single item on that list, much less all or any combination, require a penis in order to be manifested. Talk about strength and courage, for example, I’d like to see a man carry and finally deliver a baby.

And speaking of strength and courage, neither of these is a single quality deployed on a spectrum from less to more. For example, when I was in Basic Training,ⁱⁱⁱ there were plenty of guys who were physically stronger than I; most, in fact. Some had even played football in high school, or a year or two of college, before finances inclined them to join the Army.^iv But during company runs, these guys were as often as not the ones dropping out left and right, whereas I never once fell out of a formation run. Clearly it wasn’t because I was more athletic than they. But I was far more afraid of failure than I was of pain or even falling over dead from exhaustion, so I kept going when they did not. In that sense, I was “stronger” than they were.

And there are at least two kinds of courage: there is the physical courage that will face mortal danger, but there is also the moral courage that will stand up for what is right. Consider that disgrace to the uniform, Oliver North. Mr.^v North certainly demonstrated significant physical courage in combat during his career as a Marine. But the moment he was called upon to show some moral courage, and stand up for the Constitution he swore to protect and defend (against ALL enemies foreign and domestic) he couldn’t roll over and urinate on himself fast enough.

So what, then, is it that makes a man a Man?

OK, are you ready now for the big reveal? For the secret of Secrets? For the arcane insight that so many of the childish buffoons named above want to charge you staggering amounts of money for?

WELL HERE IT IS:

Be an adult human being.

And that, cupcake, is all there is to it.

Having a wanker does not make you special. And being a wanker makes you the opposite of “a man.”

– – – – – – – – – –

i Is that a thing in football?

ii Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan. IYKYK.

iii Yes, I took the oath, Yes, I wore the uniform. And not that it is any of your damned business, but yes, my DD214 says “Honorable.”

iv Yes, I was in the Army.

v And notice, it is MISTER North, not “Colonel.” He was stripped of rank and titles due to his staggering and willful violation of his oath to the Constitution.